We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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