next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize