Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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