you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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