He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize