you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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