No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize