I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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