oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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