This is not my ceiling
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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