The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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