I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
