I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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