so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize