Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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