Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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