i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize