Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize