What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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