He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
This can only be settled by a dance off.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize