I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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