from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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