Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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