dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize