hell yes lets make some ravioli
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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