I hate your face
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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