Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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