Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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