Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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