I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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