Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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