It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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