Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
