i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize