Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize