Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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