is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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