At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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