I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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