so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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