we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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