did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Damn victory sex feels great
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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