bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
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Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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