I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize