She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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