im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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