i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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