Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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