Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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