Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize